This is an essay I wrote on my Facebook page for Arachnia’s Web a couple of years ago. I thought I would share it here. I cleaned it up a little and made sure the details were correct. I learned a lot through this experience, and hope you find it useful too. Here is my story about the first time that I was fully possessed by force:
Cold rainy days seems to trigger memories more so than “happy” sunny days. This is not a bad thing; I just go more inward, thinking more about where I am at and how my experiences shaped me. This morning I lit the “Goddess” incense for Neith, my Matron, when I had a memory of my first full possession.
Possession has been forefront in my mind lately because there seems to be a rash of entity problems in my town lately – more than usual. True, it is near Samhain – Halloween – but it is becoming more of a problem. It is almost an infestation. This has inspired me to write a series of articles regarding possessions, while outlining a small handbook. Both the articles and book will be available later this year.
I could not, unfortunately, find the journal I kept the original experience of my possession. This is from my memory, which still impacts my practices to this day:
Back in 2012 I was working in a Wiccan temple. Part of my training included opening myself up to psychic experiences through the use of the candle void meditation. It’s relatively simple, you draw a circle for protection and call upon whoever you are working with; at this time my High Priest suggested I work with the titles of The Lord and Lady. I would say a prayer of gratitude and protection to the Lord and Lady, then proceed with the meditation for 15-40 minutes, depending on my concentration. At this time I had still suffered decades of insomnia, so I would do my meditations around in the late evening around 11 p.m., or early morning around 3 a.m., or 5 a.m.
This particular morning I did the usual; I made a cup of tea to drink after the ritual for calming, set up the simple altar of a blessed white candle, Indian Temple incense, and my notebook with my prayer written in it.
I drew a circle with my finger, since it was a simple meditation. Then I called on the Lord and Lady:
“Lord and Lady,
I humbly come before you
to ask for balance;
I seek stability in my life.
I shall hold up truth; not deception.
I shall show compassion; not judgment.
I shall show generosity; not avarice.
I shall be unpretentious; not prideful.
I will love myself, not out of vanity
But because I am your creation,
made of your love.
I shall respect myself,
And I shall respect others.
Thank you for your blessings, Lord and Lady.
After saying the prayer, I lit the candle and stared at the flame. I allowed my thoughts of the moment to enter and leave my head, without dwelling on them. I did this until I could concentrate fully on the flame. After several minutes of staring at the flame is usually when the mind begins to drift, or become tired. At this point I either begin to fall asleep, or feel my body vibrate.
This time I felt my body vibrate, but I concentrated on the candle, not allowing myself to become disconnected from my body. I became more calm, while my body became heavier and my mind clearer.
I was facing South this particular night, with a white candle. As I became more relaxed, a sudden pressure came into my body, starting from my head. As it descended along my spine and into my feet, I tried repeatedly to take a breath, but my lungs were like iron and immovable. I was fully paralyzed, though I could see straight ahead at the blank wall and was fully aware.
I was beginning to panic several seconds later when I realized I couldn’t move my head, along with the loss of breath. It was like time within my body had stopped. I wanted to call out, but couldn’t. That’s when I heard a voice – deep, yet feminine. She spoke like a thousand beings simultaneously vocalizing. It was frightening, not because it was malevolent, but because it felt old and vast. The voice triggered images of stars and darkness; a Divine chorus of Gods.
“I am Neith. You are to make your dedication to me on the next Full Moon.”
It felt like eternity, but the goddess left my body. Slowly I regained use of my muscles and could breathe again. I counted back from ten, as I realized I was in a type of trance and needed to wake up, even though I felt awake.
I have since then dedicated myself and worked with Neith. Though I have been possessed on several other occasions, I have never experienced such a complete, alien, and terrifying possession as that one. There are some things in this world that we have no control over, and it is wise to learn and accept the responsibilities that come with learning magic and meditation.
September 14, 2016
Photo Credit: Seeking artist for credit.