Choosing the Right Coven: Red and Green Flags in Occult Groups

I have briefly touched upon abuse that goes on in the occult, especially against women. I want to delve further into the abuse in the occult. This article is useful for identifying red flags regarding covens and other magickal/religious groups.

I have mentioned before that I was trained for a short period of time in a Wiccan temple. I understand the dedication and hard work that goes into traditional rituals. I also understand, now that I am wiser, the difference between ritual abuse and devotion to one’s coven. I was going to include some anecdotes, but decided that it would violate the privacy of others, so I am only listing red and green flags. I will most likely release another article on how to spot individuals, especially those attempting to be magical partners, that express abusive and dangerous behavior.

Warning: There is graphic and adult subjects discussed, and it may trigger some people. This article is for educational purposes, and is not meant as legal advice – though any illegal activities should be reported to your local law enforcement authorities.

List of Red Flags

This summary is going to be a list of red flags for covens and occult organizations. These are not necessarily my experiences, but also my observations.

Sexual Abuse. If you are asked to participate in sexual acts that make you uncomfortable, or can only participate nude but don’t want to – immediately leave. If you know of a coven allowing and engaging in sexual activities with children (ALL persons under 18 are children by law) then you need to leave and report it to the authorities. If you see that members are trying to bully a member into sexual acts, or nudity, you need to speak up, or leave and tell the authorities. It is not ‘religion’ or a ‘private party’; these are crimes and should not be enacted within any coven. If a coven is into being skyclad and engaging in sexual activities all members must consent and be of legal age. Coercing and forcing members into sexual situations is RAPE and illegal!

Also, beware covens where a specific gender has all the power – and the “altar” is a person of their sexual preference. Usually the person chosen as “the altar” is one that the leader desires. It is not uncommon for a ‘leader’ to use the excuse of religion to have sex with someone that would not normally engage in sexual activities with them. This goes hand in hand with emotional abuse – as great power is promised, but it’s about the leader or clergy’s ego and desires.

Allows Underaged Members. I personally do not feel anyone under 18 should be involved with religion, especially when it involves disciplined training and sexual activities. Sixteen is not old enough to make serious choices and to be exposed to adult themes. That may seem puritan until you realize Gerald Gardner said only “Maidens” can be High Priestesses, which is why traditional Wicca allowed older men to have sex with fourteen year old girls. Even some traditional Dianic covens allowed sixteen year old girls to participate – this is pedophilia. Allowing children to attend private rituals can turn into an ugly legal problem.

I would also like to add that those under legal age of 18 do not usually have the capacity to learn, understand, apply, and/or have the discipline required for the responsibilities and stressors that come with witchcraft and ceremonies. This is not to infantilize young adults, but a warning that there is great responsibility and consequences that come with engaging in magickal principles.

Physical Abuse. There are some covens that are into BDSM and corporal punishment for members who do not follow the rules. Again, all members must consent. If there is someone that does not consent, they must either leave, or activities must be changed. If this is not the case, then this coven is more about control than enjoyment and worship.

Mental and Emotional Abuse. This one is much harder to pin, as a good manipulator can make things that are abusive seem normal, and even like love. This is probably the most used tactic. If you have bad self-esteem, trauma, or are currently in an abusive relationship – you are an easy target. For example, the Priest/ess may seem to be empowering you through encouragement by standing up to your abuser, or targeting a specific perceived flaw, but it’s actually an isolation and shame technique used for control. One specific example is if you are overweight they may encourage you to exercise and eat healthier – but will want to control every part of your life that they perceive as “not being healthy”; this may include time on the internet, the type of food you eat, if you drink or smoke, etc. They will nitpick and shame you into doing what they want – it’s not about helping you, it’s about controlling you. You will find that there are many narcissists that claim to be spiritual leaders or prophets. These people will usually tell you exactly how to live in order to “be like them”. This is a fallacy. There are rules in magick and science – but that is not the same as being only vegan, wearing specific colors to represent the coven (it should not be a gang), or behaving certain ways to people that are not members in the coven. Watch out for people that pretend to build you up, and then try to cut you back down – they are trying to reinforce bad self-esteem for control.

Many coven leaders will look for people with trauma, because it is easier to control someone who is already programmed with guilt and shame. They only have to redirect the programming to their personal agenda. 

Induced Memory Trauma. This ties into the previous red flags. If you have loss of memory, especially if you have physical marks, this is a sign that something was done without consent. You should remember every ritual with your coven mates. If you don’t, then they should be open with what happened. Even during possession, I remember what happens in my rituals, because I am not experiencing severe enough trauma to have my mind protect itself.

Keeping Harmful Secrets. This can include everything from illegal activities, to abuses that you are forced to endure – or commit – from your family and friends. Many times spiritual leaders will convince you to “cut toxic ties” with family and friends, but then want to reinforce those same types of ties with you. Again, this is about control.

Blackmail. Another form of control, is after getting you to participate – willingly or not – in an activity, then threaten to tell your spouse, family, friends, or place of work if you don’t do what the coven/clergy want you to do. This is usually after being forced into abusive acts like sex (including oral sex), or after witnessing them hurting other people. Because as a member you may have been targeted for your trauma, they know your weakness. They may threaten to tell your spouse, family, boss, or law enforcement about the activities that you were coerced into participating in – reinforcing fear with guilt and shame. If this happens, you need to tell someone you trust. This usually means that you are not the only victim, and that most likely someone else is also being held ‘hostage’. This is illegal and can eventually bring you grief if you do not report it.

Coercion. This one it tricky, because people who are good at manipulation can make it seem like it was your idea originally, or shame you into doing what they want so you won’t tell. This includes people who gaslight you; this is where a person says what you experienced is not real or didn’t happen. They lay the blame squarely on you after the event is done – even though they suggest it and use ‘reasoning’ to get you to participate. It is your responsibility to recognize this and say, NO! You do not have to participate in anything you don’t feel comfortable with, even it if is legal. If a coven practices being skyclad, for example, they should recognize and not accept members that are not comfortable with nudity. If this type of coven tries to convince another a person that it is okay – and that person is clearly uncomfortable – then it is an abusive situation.

False Empowerment and Gifts. This may also be hard to identify, but it may include compliments, gifts, and other signs of love-bombing – intense actions that show romantic or friendly interest. It may start out as compliments; something simple such as having powerful intellect or beauty. For those with low self esteem, it may be the person is pretending to be supportive. The least skillful abuser will skip these steps and go into the grandiose compliments; though these tactics are usually reserved until a person trusts the occult/coven leader. These can be tales of how a person is an important soul, maybe the most important in the world or in the coven — next to the leader/clergy. Or they may tell a person that they possesses great skills and knowledge, but can only unlock it if the person works and follows the rules of the High Priest/ess. The target may be told that the gods have given them more gifts than other human the leader/clergy have ever met. The leader may even try to manipulate a target by trying to tell the person what they have ‘seen’ in the target’s past lives, and try to impress them that way. The point of false empowerment is to get a person to believe they’re special – but only with the help of the High Priest/ess. They hope that the person they target will feel indebted, and will do anything to stay in good graces.

Another example is the leader/clergy may do a ritual or group meeting to ‘call’ people to ‘arms’, or to ‘hear the calling of a deity’. Some groups call these a Calling, Culling, Truth, or Trust rituals – they are actually compulsion rituals. These compulsion rituals are designed to make you feel like you have a special calling, and are used to coerce a participant to divulge information in the form of “trust”. The information asked is usually a secret that can be used against you. Do not give out any information during these types of rituals, especially if you know your magick name, your Heka/True Name, deity/guide/HGA’s name, or magical knowledge. And absolutely do not reveal any sensitive information on yourself or others, especially of a legal nature.

This type of abuse usually includes a building up and tearing down the person’s perception of themselves many times, until the target is in a malleable state. Remember, if the compliments or what a person says is too good to be true, it most likely is – and they want something from you.

Narcissism. One thing that becomes apparent if you have ever joined a forum or group online, is that many people with minimal success have an over-inflated sense of grandeur. That’s not a problem, until it is used to make themselves feel better than others; or they try to coerce others into doing their bidding because they feel they are the Master over others. This can be a problem with groups that have established hierarchies, because many magick systems depend on the belief that the clergy is the physical representation of a deity. Unfortunately, some people abuse this authority and use it to further personal goals versus helping the group. You can spot these types because they will always talk about their great accomplishments out of context, or bring up their astounding accomplishments their self without prompting. There is a difference when engaging in conversation and teaching versus bragging about how powerful a person is. They may also brag about accomplishments and events that you can easily find out never happened. I had one person brag about being in a gang, prison, and going to a distinguished university – all easily checked through public law enforcement records, state repository, and by looking up public alumni records through the quoted university’s site.

These type of people will also expect you to be grateful for whatever scraps you are handed in knowledge – and usually have a “secret” but won’t ever divulge it. They just keep you hooked so you’ll do whatever they want. If you are being treated as a servant, and asked to do unreasonable tasks, this can be another sign.

You may also be asked to swear an oath to the Priest/ess to specifically put them before all else. Sometimes they are more sneaky and have you swear to the coven, but remind you that they are the leader of the group and as such decide what is proper to ask of coven members.

They may ask you to hurt someone or do illegal activities on their behalf, so they have deniability. Narcissists will not claim responsibility for their actions and may even try to play the victim, making up stories about those they feel ‘offended’ them. They may use abusive language or behavior in front of the people they don’t like, or who aren’t giving into their whims – this is a definite time to excuse yourself and leave immediately. You may come across someone that tells you a lot of sob stories without a resolution – this doesn’t include if the tale ends in they learned a lesson or admitting the issue was resolved or their own fault. Many people who are narcissists, or have other mental disorders, inflate their ego and tales regarding their life. Be aware, they if they have unresolved issues, they may be looking for others to do magick or physical actions on their behalf to resolve what they see as problem – do not get involved.

If a person is always stirring up drama between people, asking favors that are not reasonable (such as demanding wine at 3 AM for a ‘surprise lesson’ ), tries to coerce people into doing dangerous or illegal activities for their pleasure or ego, is petty and hurts others without cause (especially if they feel threatening children or innocents is okay in order to get back at a person who loves the innocent), enjoys inflicting pain or holding power over others, and exhibits other disturbing traits, then you are most likely dealing with a narcissist. Sometimes even being an acquaintance to these type of people may cause you trouble and grief, so I suggest completely cutting ties with these types of people.

Illegal Activities. There are several things that can get you in trouble with the law, and may include such consequences as prison and fines. Other than some of the things already listed, here are a few other activities that may get you in legal trouble: harassment, stalking, using illegal drugs, transporting illegal drugs, giving underaged children drugs including alcohol, stealing, graffiti, sacrificing animals under illegal circumstances (look up your local ordinances regarding legal ways of killing and disposing animals), poaching, harvesting protected plant life (check your state/country laws to see what you may pick, some plants carry heavy fines), etc.

Villians and Magickal Warfare. Some covens and temples have created witch wars against other covens, or even one specific person. This is a large sign to disengage and never speak to anyone in that group. These people will be bent on the destruction of anyone they perceive as an enemy. You will find that most ‘enemies’ are someone, or a group, that has dirt on the leader or coven members — or that someone in the coven has wronged but doesn’t want to take responsibility for restitution. This is probably one of the easiest red flags to identify in a group. Basically, if a group is about cursing and destroying anyone (or any being) before resolution, they are going to bring trouble into your life.

Note: It is okay to recognize some of these traits in yourself and decided to change them. That is what shadow work is for. Many covens with advanced magicians will actually be able to identify self-defeating and toxic traits, and help you with any shadow work needed. We all have traits that are undesirable, and it is our responsibility to change.

Rules for a Healthy Coven

Consent. I cannot stress this enough. If you are not completely comfortable doing something, DO NOT DO IT! A true coven will never force you to do things you don’t want to, and will be choosy about who they let in. A coven is a covenant between all members to respect each other while safely practicing their beliefs. If you are into BDSM, sexual activities, and are good with being nude – great! But do not expect everyone else to be at the same level of comfort for these activities.

Empowerment and Spiritual Growth. A true leader knows that those under them have potential to become as they are, and even exceed them! A true leader, or teacher, will have your best interests in mind. They may encourage you, but will not force or coerce you into something you don’t want to do. There is a difference in helping a person to gain confidence and courage versus telling them there is only one way to do things. For example, if you are in an abusive situation, a true leader may suggest that you find a way to get a place to stay, or get help to leave the situation. They may even have members help house you, or make sure you are fed – your safety and comfort will be a priority. They will not encourage you to aggressively engage with your abuser to ‘show your power’, or encourage you to keep quite and stay because you don’t have the finances to be on your own. It is about uplifting a person, not telling them what to do – and a good leader will not put a person in danger for an ego boost.

Integrity and Respect. A good coven, or spiritual group, will respect your boundaries and tries to create a feeling of solidarity where everyone is calm and comfortable. They will be accepting of who you are in the moment – not your perceived potential. They will understand that everyone comes into their own power at their own time, and will encourage mixing in mundane activities instead of focusing only on the spiritual (this is a great way to stay grounded).

This also includes everyone keeping their oaths, and showing respect for all members.

Keeping Promises and Oaths. This is very important, because many people scam others by not delivering promises – especially for services already paid for in cash. Sometimes there is a donation or charge for initiations and rituals before hand because the items used for the participants is expensive. This is acceptable, as long as the ritual is carried out as promised. However, if a teacher charges for lessons in advance, but keeps canceling, then this is breaking an oath. This also includes if someone in the coven promises to do something, regardless if a reward or exchange is expected, but does not fulfill their pledged duty. If people cannot keep their promises, then it can cause drama in a coven.

Exceptions are if you are sick, but then make arrangements in advance. For those who are chronically ill, don’t make a promise you can’t keep – say you will do it if you feel well enough, and only accept payment at the time of service. This allows for you to keep your promises and dampen any accusations within a coven.

Through experience and time you will find that there are other red and green flags regarding relationships with a coven or temple. The main rule to remember is that if you feel uncomfortable, then don’t do it.

Stay safe, and Hail Self!

Arachnia Stoneskull

Photo Credit: “The Witches’ Sabbat (The Great He-Goat)” by Francisco Goya

Spiritual Anarchy

 

“You cannot buy the Revolution. You cannot make the Revolution. You can only be the Revolution. It is in your spirit, or it is nowhere.”

Ursula K. LeGuin, The Disposessed

 

Anarchy is often envisioned as pure chaos, and is seen as a negative event. Most people imagine looting, civil war, and destruction of the foundation of society. Anarchy is none of these things, though these events can lead to anarchy.

The definition of anarchy comes from anarchos: “an” meaning without and “archos” meaning ruler or chief. It is essentially to self govern. This is important, as it not only insinuates free will, but order established by our own beliefs and reality. This doesn’t mean that we can take from others, but that we have control of our own domain and the right to defend what is ours.

Spiritual Anarchy is the act of governing the self in spiritual practices and beliefs. It is the belief that we all choose what to believe and have the capacity to find our own path. While people may come together in a common belief, spiritual anarchy is taking responsibility for your own growth and doing what you must in order to fulfill your spiritual desires. It means that others do not have an effect on your beliefs. A person may listen and determine if the new information should be included, but are not easily swayed by others. Especially if the journey has led to more solid truths. It is learning the ability to discern what is truth, or to set aside interesting tidbits of information that doesn’t currently make sense or has missing information.

Not everyone needs to be a spiritual anarchist. It’s okay to choose a religion that allows for a person to be comfortable and has an established set of rules. Spiritual anarchy is for those that are willing to break the confines of what is previously taught and test so-called truths. It is for exploring other possibilities and avenues of thought.

When you are tired of seeing ‘wrong-doing’, when you see that most spiritual advice and gurus are false, when you see that there is a need and yearning to learn more – that is the beginning of your journey to spiritual anarchy.

How to Be a Spiritual Anarchist

The first rule is there are no rules, but those you impose on yourself. However, here are some guides and suggestions to get you started on your journey.

1. Accept Responsibility for Your Actions. This is the number one guide. Since you are self-governing, you are the one that makes the choices. This means the consequences are your own. No one is coming to save you, or forgive you for ‘sins’. If you feel you have wronged someone, or have made a wrong choice, then correct it. By accepting responsibility and the consequences that come with it, you understand what true freedom and choice is.

2. Test Your Theories and Spiritual Practices. You will be using empirical and experiential evidence when testing out your beliefs and practices. Testing your practices and observing them to see what is consistent, or not, is important. This does not stop at failure or success, though. Understanding the mechanics behind it, so you can tweak your practices, or discard them, is also important. To accept something as a constant without knowing why is not full understanding. In order to be completely self governing, you must know the reason the reason behind the actions and what you do, especially when it comes to interactions with other people and beings. This allows you to make good choices for yourself, and have the ability to learn how to break through boundaries.

3. Communication, Networking, and Socialization. While it is important to take some time for ourselves, especially for reflection and meditation, we are also social creatures. Information is more easily available through others. Through networking we can learn how to become more efficient in areas that we may not have experience in. This is doesn’t take away from the self, but is a tool to help further your goals and keep you in the loop of important information.

4. Political and Ethical Stances. Though anarchy is self governing, this also means you are responsible for creating the world you wish to live in. This means that you may decide to be a force of change to further your own goals and purpose. Rebellion and revolution have always started with individuals that wanted to change the current circumstances regarding their physical needs and being. Be the change you want to see, as the saying goes.

5. Be Genuine and Have Integrity. This seems like a rule, but really it’s a way to gauge who should be in your circle. It also let’s people know that you are serious and should be taken as such. You may not be out to make friends, but being true to yourself will bring you more of what you truly want.

6. Check Yourself. There are times that misinformation is spread, especially by those that desperately want to believe it. There are times that we must research and check information that we are thinking of sharing; whether it is from social media or a spiritual being. Even beings from other dimensions have agendas, and will use those who easily accept any information from the “Spirit World” as true and valid. Always Question everything, even what you think. Test it, research it, ask for help to find the answer if you need.

Being an adventurer and spiritual anarchist is not easy. You will lose friends, and be mocked by people that feel you threaten their paradigm. People mistakenly think that their beliefs is their actual Self and life. It is merely expression, which can easily be changed. Part of being a spiritual anarchist is demonstrating this to others. You may also find there is resistance from your current community and family, too. However, remember to be brave, press on, and Hail Self!

Sources:

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/anarchy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anarchy

Arachnia Stoneskull

Art Credit: Claudia McKinney

Not Your Babalon: Female Empowerment and Love

 

“Thou hast called me, oh accursed and beloved fool.”

-Jack Parsons, ‘The Book of Babalon’

Babalon, The Sacred Whore. She Who Rides the Beast. She is the full embodiment of life and experiences, both horrifying and joyful at the same time. Every “true” woman by many occultists’ standard should fully embrace this aspect and archetype of herself – and in the literal sense.

Women are still viewed as whores, or there only for a man’s pleasure. While many women in occultist circles are glad to play the role of the promiscuous seducer, they mistake it with true power. Seducing and manipulation is a technique to hold power and sway over others, but it is a short term power and must be constantly maintained. Beauty, charm, and adoration are temporary. In this sense of playing a sexual goddess, when the play toy gets old and worn, it is discarded. By buying into the literal sense of Babalon, we are buying into the age old Patriarch system of women are only useful as long as they are vessels that men give value. As women, we have been ‘graciously’ given power by being altars and vessels for men to use to empower theirselves and reach their highest perception of enlightenment.

We do have that power within ourselves as women, and we certainly don’t have to use it to pander to others that can’t tap that power within themselves. We may not be biologically built for physical strength like men, but what we lack in physical strength, we have replaced with creativity and intelligence. Women have been behind some of our major technological advancements, especially regarding space exploration, radiation, and other scientific breakthroughs. We have entertained powerful authority figures and influenced their decisions throughout history. Our maternal ancestors protected their villages, while raising children and acquiring food sources. We are rising again to protect our children and other women from the oppression of male oriented government and entitlement. The rage of the goddess, seeing the blood spilled of those abusing innocents, is a truer picture of the Goddsess, or Babalon, than a women who seeks only to please others through their own sexuality.

Traditionally anything described of Babalon is actually a conundrum; a pale comparison and less poetic version of ‘The Thunder, Perfect Mind’. The value of Babalon lies in the archetype encouraging female empowerment; such as independence while breaking societal taboos and constructs. However, the modern problem is this empowerment can only be obtained through men. Only by allowing them to use a woman as his altar does she becomes a goddess. You see this idea in action in modern occultism and Satanism as beautiful, young women are wooed with false power and adoration in exchange for sexual favors. Most of these groups and covens are sexual predators looking to use religion and ego to prey on younger, uninformed women.

Women are currently still learning occult secrets in the way that men have influenced it. Even women that are famous in magick and occult circles are still perpetuating patriarchal inspired magickal systems, not knowing they have more power than any biological male could imagine. Even S. Ben Qayin had to invoke and be possessed by a goddess in order to work with the Djinn. Women that are seers are able to ask favors, unlike human heterosexual males, and the Djinn will do as you bid without almost any offering. (Though it should be noted that They usually ask to be companions, which means you don’t get to have romantic human relationships again.) There’s a reason the Ben Elohim, the Watchers, chose to marry women, and not men. Being gay and transgender still applies to the biological sex rules. There are some Celestials that gender and biological sex doesn’t matter, but when it comes to the beings commonly known as Djinn and Angels, it does. However, demons are more flexible and usually require the same devotion and offerings from everyone.

You hear of stories of women naturally commanding spirits and entities in nearly every culture. Men in most cultures, even in shamanic cultures, must ‘receive’ the gift whether through an entity (like YHWH) or through an illness – most men only receive their power through initiation. This is why women are coveted – we are seen as vessels to initiate men into their own power, or to communicate with deities/entities. Even Dee and Kelly’s ‘Angelic’ guide was a little girl, which seems to be a common initiator for males. Perhaps it is because a child reflects innocence and the beginning – being born anew, which is where the adept starts their journey – in effect, initiation. This is not saying that there aren’t naturally born males seers, but even they don’t have the privilege of freely receiving help (or even being liked) by many Celestials.

I have been called a Scarlet Woman before because of my sexuality, individuality, and independence – until I don’t submit to the male giving me the ‘compliment’. I don’t need another’s confirmation to know what I am or not, and I think that’s the problem. As women, especially the older generation like myself, we have been programmed to see our value as men and the Patriarch see us. But for those that walk the path, we know that we are just as valuable, intelligent, and self-sufficient as any male.

This brings us to love and how it connects to the view of Babalon. A true goddess knows Herself, like Lilith. They know pleasure and ambition do not require you to spread yourself thin, but be picky with those whom you choose. You don’t need to bow down or sleep with every Adam, if you don’t wish, in order to retain your femininity. You can be like Lilith – only choose those that you see as an equal and treat you as their equal, and leave the rest behind.

This is what many of us have been seeking – being treated as an equal with respect, and appreciated for ourselves as we are. A true embodiment of Babalon, or any sexually independent goddess, means that we, as women, choose who to let enter into our life. We get to decide how to express ourselves, who to make our partners, and who we associate with. This doesn’t mean that we don’t have preferences when it comes to how we enjoy being loved, or what a relationship is to us, but that we are an active participant in it.

It should be noted that many people will laud a woman for speaking well, having knowledge, and being herself. However, most of those that applaud it in public will find a woman not easily influenced and who is comfortable in her own power as being ‘too much’. These types of people are not your friends, or lovers. They should be left behind to find their own selves, as they are not comfortable with theirself yet. These types of people will do anything to tear you down to make themselves feel better. This goes for any partner that tries to use their skills or knowledge to put you in your place, or claim they are more powerful and try to make you acquiesce to their authority. These people are more interested in power play than they are in your spiritual growth.

Those who truly love independent women know that there will still be compromises (that is unavoidable in most relationships). Boundaries and agreements should not interfere with either partners’ power or individuality. This is why it is important to be up front about your ethics and boundaries from the beginning. I would like to add that submissiveness in a woman does not mean they are weak or make them less. If it is agreed, and to her will, it is still equal because she had a choice. To take advantage and force a woman to submit is much different than her freely giving you what you wish. For example, I am the type that is okay with being domestic and ‘wifey’ and even let a man take charge in the bedroom. However, when it comes to personal ethics and boundaries, or important decisions that effect us both, I must be included. Anytime someone has tried to take advantage of my kindness and quietness, because they saw it as weakness, quickly learned that I do not submit. I do not like being controlled or talked down to, and will stand up for myself and others.

Because I have been on my own and know how to take care of myself, I have also found myself. I don’t need anyone to complete me. I see a partner as an equal, where we both help alleviate each others burdens and support each other. I feel when a person reaches a point that they realize they can depend on theirself, and realize their true potential, they are ready to enter mature partnerships. This is where power is held equally and tasks are distributed as all parties involved agree (this includes polyamorous relationships). The ability to treat another with respect, and show it through action, is part of this process. I will not give up my individuality, independence, or dreams up in order to make a partner more comfortable. I am not afraid to admit to myself that a person may be a good friend (or not), but not a good fit for a partner. I think when we distinguish that we can love someone, but realize that it is toxic mess and walk away, that is part of maturity and true love. It leaves you both free to pursue someone that would bring greater joy.

Love and Empowerment, while being complimentary can be mutually exclusive. I think that’s something everyone should consider. You don’t need love to be empowered, and not everyone that loves is comfortable in their own power, yet. However, through freedom of choice and equal standing, both can be linked and amplify one’s own goals.

This is why I declare myself my own Babalon – my independence, my love, my will, my choices, and who I am belong to me exclusively. I share only with those that are worthy to be in my presence, and show respect to who I am as a whole.

Hail, your own power and Self!

-Arachnia Stoneskull

February 1, 2019; 11:34 A.M.

Photo: “Dragon Charmer” by Dehong He

Magickal Backlash: What Causes It? (Part 1)

 

Magickal backlash is a common event for many practitioners, and can cause problems in one’s daily life.

Sometimes it needs to happen in order for us to get what we need, other times it is something that can be avoided with the right techniques. This article will focus on what is necessary blowback and what is not. I will give you some tips for better rituals to help with backlashes in the next article.

Necessary Backlash

There are times that we have unexpected events from ritual. It may be good or bad. I don’t believe that Karma and the Rule of Three is applied at these times. I believe in action and consequences, and feel that a practitioner must accept the consequences of whatever magic, summoning, or energy that is sent out during a ritual. We can’t always know what the action of these consequences are until they happen. For example, you may send out a spell to destroy a person – it may work, but in the end the person cursed may become better for it, and eventually thrive.

Here’s a list of things that can count as necessary or typical backlash that may happen when doing ritual.

1. Justice. There are certain beings that their price to work with you is to do a type of cleansing. This may require that if you did similar things as the person you are asking for retribution against, then you may experience the same curse until your “karma” has burned off. The curse may not work if you have the wrong person, or they are found innocent. One being who will do this is Hekate. The deities/entities that are representatives of Eternal Law must follow it, in return you must accept this.
2. Growth. Many practitioners ask for a better life, a better partner, a better job, etc. Sometimes when we ask for things to be better, we are introduced to troubles and mayhem in our life. Usually this feels like a curse. Some people lose their job, home, or even their family. This is to help your growth, and usually your life will right it self for the better. If you resist though, there is a possibility that things may go wrong until you allow for certain events to happen and you take control of your life and situation.
3. Making Room. Similar to growth, it may cause chaos in your life until you accept it.  It’s similar to clearing junk out of your house. This may happen if you banish, bind, or cut cords with a person – chaos in your life is going to rearrange your relationships before settling down.
4. Payment. Despite the belief that many people don’t owe anything to the deities or entities that they work with, there is always an energy exchange of some kind. While incense, cakes, wine, even blood may entice a deity/entity to be summoned, this is not the final payment. They may require more worship by working with them more often, have you tell others of them (spreading their “fame”), but more likely than not they want you to do a favor for them. These are all types of an energy exchange. I have learned that it is easier to find out the details before agreeing on a payment. They all require an equal exchange of what you are asking. Whoever you are working with will acquire their payment, even if it is later on. Your life may be in chaos until the payment is made.
5. Wording – You Get What You Asked For. This is a difficult one, because it is similar to a preventable backlash – except you do get what you ask for. For example, I told Hekate that I didn’t want Her help, because I wanted to stand on my own two feet and didn’t want to use Her. This did not sit well with Her. I lost my friends, family, and community – even my Guardians were not allowed to help in a lot of areas in my life. I have since then apologized, and told Her I do need community and help. I meant well, and received exactly what I wanted, but it was not the intended outcome. It taught me a lesson in humility and the need for community – but it also taught me my strengths and weaknesses. This was an unexpected outcome, but I did get what I asked for.
6. A Deity/Entity/Energy is Already Involved in the Situation. There are situations where a person either asked for something, or has cast a spell, and wants it reversed. While there are safe ways to reverse certain spells, some need to run their course. When we interfere with workings that need to run their course, we can sometimes receive a backlash . This especially happens if we cast another spell that is doing the opposite of the original ritual without reversing or dispersing the first working. Be aware that some people have cursed themselves, or are cursed from another person, or even a deity. This is a lesson for everyone involved, and is something that is not preventable. If you become involved and make a decision to do whatever it takes to reverse a spell that needs to run its course, you need to accept the consequences. It is possible to reverse these types of spells, but to do it prematurely can take great sacrifice. From personal experience, I can tell you it is rarely worth it. This is because the person didn’t learn their lesson; they will be ungrateful and even start blaming you for all their woes. My best advice is once you realize what is going on to walk away, even if it is friends or family. The spell will run its course, and when the specifications are met the spell then it will disperse.

Preventable Backlash

There is backlash that can be avoided. Here are some types of backlash that may be avoided.

1. Wording. Wording is very important. Sometimes how you word a spell will effect it differently than you expected. For example, you may ask for a car that runs and will be low maintenance. What you may end up getting may not be a new car, but a junky looking car with all the specifications. The same goes for love spells; if you ask for a handsome lover that has passion and money, you may get a man that has other women on the side. Or it may be short lived. You just never know, so I would suggest being more specific.

   Also, there are some words that mean something different in the past than what we use now. You may want to look in a dictionary or thesaurus for the history of a word. The linguistics of a word can make all the difference in your spell, especially if the deity/entity was from a certain time period.

2. Romantic/Sexual Spells. This one can be tricky, and why I don’t do sex and love spells on a specific person. There are many things that can happen. It can be successful and both parties are satisfied with each other, or it may end in disaster where one party doesn’t want to be in a relationship any more and the other partner does. It can be either the spellcaster or the other person that does not want to break off the relationship. There is a possibility that it may lead to stalking or abuse on the partner that doesn’t want the relationship. When you cast a love spell, you may cast it on yourself – especially if it something you strongly desire. We all can cast the spell of love on ourself when we really want it.
3. Wrong Target. Sometimes you may use the wrong target in your ritual. Depending on if you called a being related of law, or a justice, they may not choose to help and even collect retribution on the practitioner calling them. Also, some people have such beings working with them, so they have protection or warnings from these beings. This has happened to me when a coven asked Samael for unwarranted retribution, and they ended up with the consequences. This is also why I would check out a person’s motive, and consult with my guides, before joining in on a spell.
4. Return to Sender. There are people that know there is a curse put on them, or they may do regular banishing. One way to banish things is to return it to the person that sent the curse or the entity. It is unfortunate that many people mistake a return to sender as an attack on them, when it is an actual an attack on theirself. One way you can identify a return to sender is that like events that you have placed on another person begin happening to you. Some people can detect another’s personal signature, and may mistakenly believe that the other person has cursed them in return. There is a possibility that both parties do a return to sender to each other multiple times, and may end up building up and creating backlash for not just the practitioners involved, but also those around them.
5. Using the Wrong Correspondence. There are certain correspondences that have gained power through belief. Depending on what tradition you belong to, or what type of spells you are doing, there are correspondences that work better than others for whatever you are doing. A popular correspondence is candle colors. For example, the color black is traditionally seen as evil, but black itself is the absence of color. Because it is absent of color, it makes for a great candle color to banish or exorcise entities. However, black in the Western philosophies is evil and denotes death (note that death is white in Eastern philosophy). If you are using Western magick , then black candles can be used to open gates to Cthonic planes, including the Underworld and the Abyss. This is also a popular candle color for general summoning of Cthonic deities (like Hekate, Samael, Azrael), demons (Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Ba’al), and the dead. (Note: These deities and entities do have specific colors, but that is for you to find out. Black, while used for summoning, is a basic color and is a lot more effective with other specific colors to the deity/entity.)

   Sometimes we do the wrong the correspondences. For example, I found that even using the wrong incense can call up different deities if they share titles. One such mistake is the calling on the Archangel/Deity of Lucifer with Jupiter incense. This will bring a whole another entity that I call Jupiter-Lucifer – the god Jupiter/Zeus. If you want to call in the rebel Archangel Lucifer, you would use Frankincense. I have also seen many people describe Lucifer with long white hair, blue eyes, and even a lightening bolt on the forehead, come to them as a lover or guide – this is actually Jupiter/Zeus (remember He loves to trick people into loving him, or for sex). Here is the only mention I have seen of Jupiter being called Lucifer before Venus (I am still looking for more substantial evidence), which helped me when I dealt with the wrong entity that created chaos on in my life: https://gnosticwarrior.com/morning-star.html

6. Unexpected Results from Intentions. Intention is very important. Like wording and details, it directs our Will in ritual and life. However, sometimes the result of our intentions, even if they are well meaning, may backfire. For example, I helped a woman send a healing spell to her son in prison. He was not receiving the healthcare he needed for an infection. After the spell, both of us were very ill for a few days. I knew that she had asked Hekate for justice and to punish whoever had set up her son for being charged with a felony. I found out later that even though she did not believe her son did it, that he was in reality guilty. The backlash came because she asked Hekate to punish whoever did the crime, and we were essentially going against the spell she cast by trying to heal him. This is also why I interview people now that want a curse removed, an entity banished, or an exorcism. Sometimes people get what they deserve, and it is not our place to help them, but let them learn.

I cannot express enough that no matter the outcome, we must take responsibility for our own actions. I have tried to reverse spells that I set with very strong parameters, or I have seen my curses actually benefit people that I despise. I have since then learned to accept the consequences of my actions. However, it has been a good learning experience. As the saying goes, “Practice safe hex!”

-Arachnia Stoneskull

Photo Credit: https://thewallpaper.co/artistic-d-contrast-fracture-explosion-digital-shine-broken-comics-psychedeliccg-light-silhouette-dark-widescreen-backgroundstock-images-art/

Birthdays: The Highest Holiday

 

“The highest of all holidays in the Satanic religion is the date of one’s own birth. Every man is a god if he chooses to recognize himself as one.” -Anton Szandor LaVey

Today is my birthday. I turn forty today, which is pretty amazing considering all I have gone through. I have been thinking about the past thirty-nine years this last year, but this year I decided to try something different – I am looking forward.

I really feel that I have lived in the past a lot of my life, and this has held me back. Though looking back the past five years, I can honestly say I have started to live my life more and I am proud of myself. I have overcome hardships such as homelessness, leaving an abusive relationship, and beginning down my personal path to power. However, it is time to move on to bigger and better things in my life.

I still have a lot of small goals that I need to fulfill, but are a lifetime commitment. This is mainly because they deal with the mental illness and other traumatic events. These don’t go away, but on some level they can be controlled. My biggest goal regarding this is trying to see if I can change the way my brain thinks – enough that all the negativity in my life will be deprogrammed. I am taking notes, so I can share with others when this happens.

My other life goals are more simple and more for me. Love; a happy and healthy family; getting healthier physically, emotionally, and mentally; being able to fully understand my spiritual path and helping others on their path are the major goals I plan on focusing on the rest of this lifetime.

I do have plans of teaching more, opening a temple, and even doing a few workshops. I have the ambitious plan of trying to unite all the local area Pagans, so we can network and build a community. These are some of my more ambitious and harder pursuits. I want to see all these come to fruition.

Though I am not a Satanist, I am a Dark Pagan, I do agree with Anton LaVey’s view of birthdays. We are our highest priority, even if we choose to give ourself to others. You are important. Only you have the ability to make your dreams transform into reality. You are the god of your own world. Take pride in yourself and celebrate yourself every day. This will bring you the joy and passion that you need to fulfill your goals.

Hail Thyself and stay true to Self!

Arachnia Stoneskull

Photo Credit: Seeking Credit

Cognitive Dissonance and the Spiritual Path

 

The first time I received any true information regarding my current belief system, I became broken. I had just found out that Samael and Abrasax, as a Mormon, were the gods I cried out to for help. Though it had been nearly a year since I met Them, and They were helpful, I thought they were separate beings from the Christian God. I had, up until that time, blamed all my problems as a child and throughout most of my adulthood on YVWH. I felt like my world was falling apart, and it was hard to come to the terms with all the times I really needed someone, but heard only silence. The times where I was in situations that They could have prevented. It didn’t make any sense, and I needed to make sense of it. I couldn’t believe with how nice They had been to me that they were involved in my perception of Them being an uncaring God.

This type of feeling and situation is called cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is when you are presented with new information that contradicts previous information – and as a result causes the mind to resist new information. This resistance is a type of protection, because for some people all they have is their worldview. This is why religious people are so resistant to new information, once they accept wholly what they believe. It upsets everything they know, and they do not have the ability to keep an open mind.

This goes into the saying that if you have a full cup, you can’t fill it – meaning you don’t have the ability to learn anything new if you have solid preconceptions of information presented. Sometimes, we need to empty that cup and keep an open mind.

So, how does this effect us in magic? It effects us greatly, especially if we are searching for answers and truths. We cannot find either if we have concrete beliefs. There are beliefs that fall under ethical and moral compasses, which are subjective, but I am talking about ultimate truths.

For example, one of these truths is that everything is dynamic, not static. Everything is moving as a cycle only to recycle and begin again. This is a truth that may help with cognitive dissonance. Keeping an open mind and looking for clues, which may lead back to the beginning with even greater understanding. This seems to be a theme in my life, and in many others. I think that is why we have a hard time “breaking karma”. Once we understand what our lesson is, it goes in deeper. For example, one of my lessons is boundaries; I attract people that seem to like me, but in reality are only using me because I have a generous heart. My lesson now, because I have closed up, is to open up to being generous again – but this time have boundaries and know who is really my friend.

It has been harrowing, and full of sorrows, the path that I have taken. There has been a lot of cognitive dissonance, especially since I work with “poisonous” entities such as Samael and Sutekh (Set). Spiritual poison may transform or destroy, and that poison is the root of cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is asking us to review our thoughts and beliefs. This can lead to periods of despondency and feeling hollow. While those are some of the negative effects, they are healing – it allows for our cup to empty before becoming full again. The trick is to realize you are in a slump, and choose a direction. It is in choosing the direction, and carrying out actions to go in that direction, that is difficult. It is easier to wallow in self pity and just see what happens, but this is also detrimental spiritually.

Along any path, especially when dealing with magic and the occult, you will have these feelings. It is natural to have cognitive dissonance, especially when breaking down old values to add new ones.

Cognitive Dissonance Symptoms

There are many feelings and events that happen when you have cognitive dissonance, especially in a spiritual sense. Here are few things you may experience.

1. You may hear something and automatically dismiss it, not because you know it from experience, but because you believed something you were told, or that you read. This happens a lot, especially if there is a religious aspect. I consider religion a set of rules and beliefs that deal with your spiritual life; essentially dogma. Whether most people want to admit it, or not, dogma is in almost every practice, even atheistic cults.
2. You feel torn, or at war, with yourself regarding any of your beliefs. You beliefs become your identity, and that is problem. You can still have a foundation of self, and have several identities working together. I call these labels and titles. It is how we, and other people, perceive ourselves as. Drop the labels and get to know yourself. We all have contradictions, whether through societal programming, biology, or mental health. It’s okay to admit this and reconcile with your whole self.
3. You feel personally attacked every time someone mentions you or your beliefs in a negative light. It isn’t about you when someone expresses their opinion. Learn to take things less personally, if you have this problem.
4. Everything seems dull. You feel lost and don’t know where you stand. You have conflicting emotions on what to do. These are common feelings of many people. This is where you need to choose something, anything, to start living again. It doesn’t even have to be big. You can start any type of project, and it should facilitate a purpose in your life. The key is to keep going. If you finish a project and don’t feel fulfilled, try another project. It’s difficult, but it does help in the long run.

There are other symptoms, but these are some of the most common.

There is no real relief from cognitive dissonance. Most people either suppress it, even if it is constant, or avoid anything that causes the problem. I suggest avoidance only until you are ready to face it, but not complete avoidance. That can eventually lead to a mental breakdown, especially if the information keeps presenting itself.

Cognitive dissonance can be a great tool to see where you are at in your development, and even help to open new avenues of thinking. This could include enhancing empathy, too. You just need to be aware in this state that sometimes things are not as they seem.

Remember that one of the biggest lessons and skills on the Left Hand Path is to take charge of your life, which cognitive dissonance teaches us how to do. Though it may seem difficult, you have the strength to carry on. The human spirit can become indomitable through adversity.

May your path be illuminated through the darkness. Hail Thyself!

-Arachnia Stoneskull

Photo Credit: Found at https://www.boredpanda.com/depression-through-art/

Magic of Diffusers

 

Magic has transformed to fit our modern needs. Though the ambiance of of older tools is a great way to set the mood, that is not always possible. For those living in apartments, candles and incense may not be an option. There are still many practitioners that have to practice in secret because they live with family members that disapprove of witchcraft, or the culture disapproves and punishes outsiders.

One of the more common problems I have run into since living in apartments is the restriction of open flames and incense. I have, however, found a way around this by using a diffuser.

Diffusers have become popular in the last few years. Using essential oils to fill the air with an aromatic mist, diffusers are great for aromatherapy. I have found another use for them, too, as a replacement not just for incense, but also a great mood enhancer for meditation and rituals. A simple diffuser works, but I like the ones with soft LED lights.

Magickal Uses

Here are some diverse uses for a diffuser.

1. You can replace incense with diffusers. They not only add scent to the air, but create a mist that if offered, would suffice for an offering. A diffuser falls under air and water.
2. Meditation. The light scent of frankincense or ylang ylang helps calm the senses, which in turns allows for a calming environment. You can experiment to find what works best for you.
3. Banishing and blessings may also be performed with essential oils.
4. Ritual atmosphere. Not only can you add the corresponding oils related to your rituals, but the mist has an atmospheric effect.
5. It can bring in certain entities and feelings, if you charge the oils. It takes intention, not just what the oil is used for.
6. It can calm the mind and help with studying. This is important, because most of us need to read and research what we are doing. Using a diffuser can calm, and depending on the oils, open up your lungs and sinuses. This will help get oxygen to the brain and therefore help with studying.
7. Self care. Diffusers can be used to help relax, sleep, or energize a person. This can help in your personal self care.

Essential Oil Recipes

1. Banishing. Sage, peppermint, rosemary, thyme (optional), eucalyptus (optional). This blend is specific for getting rid of negative emotions and smaller entities. I prefer to do this while burning a black candle for banishing.
2. Studying. Peppermint, rosemary, orange (substitute: neroli/bitter orange blossom). This blend is to energize and also help with memory. The Romans believed that rosemary helped with memory. It may be a myth, but this blend will help with memory.
3. Angelic. Frankincense, myrrh, vanilla, yang ylang, orange (substitute: orange blossom). If you need to bring in certain angels, this includes the Archangel Lucifer and the Archangel Samael, this blend will attract Them. Most angels will come when you have this scent.
4. Angelic II. Orange, grapefruit, frankincense, lemon, vanilla, grapefruit (optional), yang ylang (optional). I found this one calls in the “Darker” or “Fallen” angels. Interesting, because the scent itself is very energizing.
5. Meditation. Frankincense, ylang ylang. I found this combo to be perfect for opening up the third eye and for meditation.

Experiment as needed. Do remember that some essential oils when used in a diffuser are toxic to pets. Eucalyptus/Tea tree oil is one of these oils. Check up on the oils before you use them. Also, make sure that you are getting quality oils and oil blends. Sometimes the cheaper oils are not safe to use.

Have fun experimenting and enjoy your scents!

Arachnia Stoneskull

January 5, 2018; 9:04 a.m.

Photo Credit. “Diffuser on altar (2016)” by Emily Anne Chamberlain

 

Divine Madness

 

I addressed mental illness in my previous article regarding magic and the occult. It is still seen as a stigma by many practitioners, but there is a positive movement for mental illness in the magical and occult communities. I do feel it is something that needs to be addressed, as some of these advocates for mental illness in the community are causing harm. There are some practitioners that have been making outrageous claims saying that using crystals, energy healing, and ceremonial magic have completely healed them – and therefor it works for anyone, if they want it hard enough. Though the worst, in my opinion, are those that claim mental illness is a Divine Madness that makes them special.

I feel that this type of thinking is a trap. One that cheapens mental illness, and also causes more stigma within the community. It can indeed be a very spiritual experience. My experiences, especially during mania, are akin to those that need LSD or DMT to commune with spirits and the Universe. It can be very exhilarating! Image having the ability to stand where you are, and only needing to close your eyes to be fully present in an astral realm. Pretty neat, right?

But what about those times that there isn’t a natural high? Or what about people that never get a natural high, but only feel apathy or severe depression? Where is the exhilaration of the Divine Madness? This state is frightening and akin to the Dark Night of the Soul on steroids.

I’ve seen many bragging that they are mentally ill, and as a result see beings or have special gifts. Most of these people are liars and looking for adoration; though some are just trying to find a reason to carry on.

Other practitioners use drugs, or have severe mental illness that distort messages and what beings from the other planes of existence truly are. We often see or hear what we want, especially in an unnaturally induced states. Our biases can create what is true into fantasy, and that should be remembered. Even when a natural vision or message comes through, if you feel that there is conflicting emotion, then check yourself.

There are rare times that I know a message or vision is ABSOLUTELY true, but many are just snippets of information that I can only guess what the message truly means. No one holds all the keys to the Truth, though many hold a lot of knowledge and techniques to try and strive for the Truth of this existence.

Mental illness is not awesome, no matter the amazing things that may happen. I would not give up my experiences, but I would not wish my mental illness on anyone. It shouldn’t be glorified, especially since having a mental illnesses doesn’t mean a person has “gifts”.

Regarding my own mental illness, I am working on being healthier and finding ways to retain “the Divine Madness” without it spiraling out of control. This is why I think it is important to do a lot of Self and Shadow work – know Thyself.

Stay true to yourself, and keep working working towards your goals, whether you have a mental illness or not. I believe with passion and hard work, you can become what you are meant to be.

Arachnia Stoneskull

January 11, 11:125 A.M.

Photo Credit: “Gratitude for the Earth and Sky, 2015” by Cameron Gray

Gnosticism, Loss of Innocence, and Love Under Will: A Short Essay

 

This is part of an essay I did for an online class. The second half I have decided to publish as separate, because it conveys a different idea. This essay was based off Gnostic videos and ideas that were being studied. I found I have several opposing views to popular Gnostic beliefs because of my experiences and discussions with my tutelage entities and deities. These essays are a gateway into my mind and show the basis of not only my belief, but the foundation for the temple, The Flame of the Black Serpent. The essays aren’t as smooth and edited as my articles, but I think they show the spirit of my beliefs and experiences. Enjoy!

“A few of things that have interested me in the past is the thought of gnosis – gaining spiritual knowledge through experience. That is quite important to me, and I believe that self revelation is the only way for a person to begin walking their true path. I would say this plays heavily into my “teaching” style, which is more a guideline or pointing a person in a direction to begin. I believe that both the good and bad experiences are what make us all unique, and oddly, the same. I believe that through our experiences we also have a greater ability to connect to others through compassion and empathy.

The second subject I am interested in is the Serpent from the mythos of the Garden of Eden. I personally do not believe it is Lucifer, but Samael – the original Satan and Demiurge. I don’t see the event as a bad thing, except through the “loss of innocence”. I think even then that innocence can be restored as a spiritual aspect when we follow our True Will.

I don’t see the Serpent as evil, but a necessary catalyst to the metaphor of evolution, and the initiation into adulthood and responsibility. Many people in modern thought see this initiation as the first time a girl starts menses, or a boy creates first viable seed. The loss of innocence is the beginning of true gnosis. We begin to see our place in the world and gain the appropriate knowledge to thrive as a human being.

The last subject that has interested me is Crowley’s saying “Love is the Law, Love under Will”. I have pondered this often. When I speak to entities, especially deities, the way we understand love as humans is foreign and “small” to them. It’s like a child trying to express love without know what it is, or how it feels. I am not sure love is quite the right word to use. Perhaps joy with non-judgment is better in some sense. In the context of joy, I think that is the soul’s true motivation. When we feel joy in what we do, it is not a burden but an ecstatic experience that seems to pave the path for smooth transitions. It seems the “Universe/Cosmos” without effort aligns all the opportunities and paths to open up. Joy seems to be the key.

Love could also be understood as unconditional love – or love without judgment. It is not possible to achieve this as a human, as our biases are biologically physical and our experiences are deeply entrenched in the psyche. But I do believe that we need to love ourselves, especially when we find our true purposes. It’s not all Love and Light for many people, so a person’s true purpose may be hard to accept. The second part to the statement “ Love under Will”, to me, simply means find your true purpose, live in the moment, and take action about it. “Just Do It!” as the Nike shoe slogan states.”

Arachnia Stoneskull

August 23, 2017 7:22 p.m. (Edited September 15, 2017 approx. 9:40 p.m.)

Picture Credit: “The Temptation of Eve” by John Roddam Spencer Stanhope